In early March, following Government guidelines, care homes throughout the country banned all ‘non essential’ visitors to protect their residents from the deadly Covid virus. Care home Managers and staff were left to cope as best they could – mostly without the recognition and applause lauded on the NHS.

Back in June/July leading Dementia charities began warning the Government of the ‘hidden catastrophe’ unfolding in care homes with relatives unable to visit for almost three months – more people were dying with Dementia, including many without the virus, a significant proportion due to lack of the emotional support only their families are able to provide. Families of those in care do more than turn up with chocolates and flowers – they are an integral part of their loved ones physical and emotional wellbeing – performing tasks those with Dementia sometimes refuse to have done by care staff, bringing in favourite foods or drink, keeping them tethered to their world, refreshing their fading memories, in many cases they are the voice of those who have lost the ability to articulate their needs clearly.

The easing of lockdown measures over the past months, meeting up with family / socialising / much needed hairdresser visits – all of this has bypassed those in care.

All these poor souls were granted was a once per week pre-booked 20-30 minute visiting slot, through closed windows, or outside in draughty shelters – cancelled if the weather was unkind – distanced from their visitor who they often had difficulty recognising or understanding due to the masks visitors had still to wear, monitored at all times by a staff member, no privacy, unable even to hold the gloved hand of their nearest and dearest and often the number of visitors restricted to the same designated person / few people.

Now, once again, as a result of rising rates of the virus coupled with the inhumane Government Winter Plan for care homes, even these restrictive visits have been discontinued. By the time we get to see our loved ones again it may well be Spring – a full 12 months without meaningful contact – always supposing these people, many of whom are already living with life limiting conditions, last that long!

I recently joined a campaign group ‘Rights for Residents’ – a growing group of families across the country who, like me, have simply had enough of this deprivation of the basic human rights of our loved ones in care. We are urging the Government and Local Health Authorities to bring about changes to the guidelines to enable us to spend safe, meaningful time with our parents, siblings or spouses, before it is too late.

We are not asking for visiting to restart ‘willy nilly’ with people free to come and go into homes as once we were able, we are aware of the concerns of foot fall within the homes – but with the kind of measures we are urging the Government to take action on, we would pose no more of a threat than care home staff who go into work and then return and carry on with their ‘normal’ lives – and why should they not? This campaign is not a witch hunt on care homes or staff, but a plea to Government to support Care Providers assisting them to be innovative and creative in providing a more nuanced approach to visiting in care homes as opposed to this blanket ban.

If other families in the area are feeling the same way, please take a look at either the Facebook group ‘Rights for Residents’ or the newly established website: www.rightsforresidents.co.uk – it’s time to speak up for our forgotten loved ones who have no voice of their own – though one of the founder members of the group has produced this moving video poem – a message to Matt Hancock, in an effort to give these lonely people their own say – Let’s hope he pays heed: